the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
