its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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