Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
