Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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