so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
