dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
