girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
