woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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