oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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