her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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