My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
