As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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