I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
