I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
