i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
