i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
