He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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