i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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