I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
