That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
