Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
