rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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