So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
