Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
