I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's shark week go big or go home
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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