The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
