Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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