it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
