There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
