Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
