My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
