his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Randomize
