Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
