I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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