He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
