I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
