you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
