scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
