id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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