Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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