thus making me awesome and them whores
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
