The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
