Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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