i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
