Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
