her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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