OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
