dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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