Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
