Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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