Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
