what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
