am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
