I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just want nice things and good sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
