i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
