Slut skills are useful in every country.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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